What is the “Moon Diet”?

20 January 2014

            The “Moon Diet” is the only possible way to lose weight.  You can lose as much as 6 pounds in 24 hours during certain phases of the Moon!  Of course, you could listen to the medical establishment.  Their ineffective diets require time, patience, care and, sometimes, (gulp) even exercise. 

            If you consult a medical professional, you’ll be told to continue to eat regular, well-balanced meals.  You may also be advised to exercise moderately.  How does this silly routine produce weight-loss?  

            Well, supposedly, all you have to do is reduce the fat and carbohydrates in your daily diet until you are taking in slightly fewer calories than your body is using each and every day.  With patience, weeks and, sometimes, months, you will eventually lose all the weight you want or need to lose. 

            Yeah!  Right!

            Everyone who’s ever read a magazine cover in the checkout line at the grocery store knows that to lose weight you need to know a “secret.”  Does anyone lose weight over a long period of time with diet and exercise?  Nobody you hear anything about!  Instead, you need to know the weight-loss secret.  And anyone who’s ever read about the weight-loss secret knows it involves a crash diet and a trick . . . a secret trick.

            When I heard about the “moon diet,” I was skeptical.  But I went to the experts to see if the “moon diet” was the real deal.  Was the "moon diet" . . . the secret?  It's another trick to find the experts.  And, the “experts” aren’t a bunch of doctors.   I knew the “moon diet” was the real deal when I found out that Demi Moore and Madonna had used it.  What more proof do we need?

            There are two basic moon diet plans and both use special fasts and foods during certain phases of the moon.  The theory behind the moon diet is actually a bit thin.  It is said that everyone seems to agree that the moon affects the human body.  Ok.  So far so good.  (Even though no one has explained just what these effects are.)   “[E]veryone knows the moon affects the water in the human body."  I didn't know this, but maybe I'm just out of the loop.  Then, consider: the human body is 60% water.  Ok.  And, then, doesn’t the moon affect the ocean tides?  Well, yeah, but . . .  

            Anyway, the "moon diet" theory goes like this.  Together with the sun, the moon, when it is a full or new, has the greatest gravitational pull on the earth.   The strong gravitational effect lasts about 24 hours.  During that 24 hours, the “moon dieter” fasts (doesn’t eat anything) except drinking water and juice.  This cleanses the body of toxins and “moon dieters” report losing up to 6 pounds during that 24 hours period.

            But something worried me.

            I don’t know just how much effect the moon’s gravity has on the water in the body.  And, if the moon does strongly affect the water in the body, why would that make you lose weight? 

            I know the full and new moons affect the oceans causing the water at the shore line to disappear.  Does that mean that reduced gravity on the water in your body makes you . . . lighter?  Even if the water disappears at the shoreline during the new and full moons, the water come right back.  All of the water comes right back.  And this is what worries me.

            Suppose the new or full moon makes my waist shrink.  Will my waist expand right back out, like the ocean, as soon as the new or full moon is over? And, if this possibility worries you too, you might try the modified moon diet.

            With the modified moon diet, you do everything you did during the regular moon diet described above.  Only, after the new or full moon is over, you eat regular, well-balanced meals, but with reduced calories from fat and carbohydrates.  Being careful to consume slightly fewer calories than you need, on a daily basis, you soon discover that, as the weeks pass, you are losing weight and keeping it off.  The lovers of the modified moon diet also recommend moderate regular exercise.  

            Well, statistics show that this modified moon diet, if carefully followed, really works.  Let’s see the medical establishment come up with something like that!  

            Remember!  Weight-loss is all about “the secret.”  Without knowing the weight-loss secret, you can't expect any diet to work.  And now we know "the secret."  It’s the moon that makes the difference!

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